Lately I’ve been feeling one of my oldest demons creeping over my shoulder, so I thought, “what better way to destroy this feeling than to write about it”. In fact, you credit a lot of the creation of this blog to this demon… Lack of motivation… That feeling of complete and utter helplessness to my own mind even if I know that I should be doing something important, or at the very least slightly productive.
Not being able to stay motivated can be absolutely devastating in life, both physically and mentally. In my case, I often begin feeling a sense of guilt and depression that only serves to perpetuate the cycle, which typically goes like this!
- Say to myself that I will do “X” important thing at a specific time.
- When that time comes around, procrastinate and continue whatever I was doing.
- Begin feeling guilty over choosing to waste more time than to study.
- Stop doing whatever I was doing because if I’m not studying then I don’t deserve to be doing anything else
- Lay in bed thinking about how much better of a person I’d be if I could just do the thing!
This is not healthy, and as a student I must be even more able to manage my motivation unless I wanna be back in Kakariko Village scraping together just barely enough rupees to buy my own shield…
I find it difficult to find motivation intrinsically. In general, if there is another person, or people involved, or they are relying on me in some way, I will always spring to action excitedly and deeply involve myself in whatever I may need to do. The problem is, people don’t always need me! SO, I needed to learn to need myself. Goals, self-improvement, forward thinking: easy enough things to sit here and type, but to actually develop them and reform my whole way of life around them… WAY HARDER. It is something that I struggled for a long time to form any semblance of, and something I still struggle to maintain.
My strategy? Complete and utter self-absorption… But in a positive way!
That is to say, I had to realize that I come first in my own life, and get excited about it! That means I help myself first. I study for me, I do my hobbies for me, I set goals for me, and I live for me. After all, I can’t expect myself to help others if I can’t help myself first.
Secondly, I had to realize its okay to have a lazy day every now and then! One of the biggest factors in my lack of motivation was the self deprecation that came along with it. But nobody is perfect! Nobody can go out there and give 100% every day of their life. And no one is half as balanced as they may seem! That means there’s no point in trying to compare myself to someone else who I may view as more successful, because they have their struggles too.
The more I continued to think like this, the more my intrinsic motivation grew, and the more I found myself able to do. Setting schedules, weekly outcomes, and daily plans for myself is now a regular part of my life. While it may not be the easiest thing to upkeep, some is better than none and what I do manage has helped me tremendously as a person.